Generator and Manifesting Generator Parents
Leveraging Everyone's Sacral Center Power for Family Harmony
About 37% of the population is a Generator, and about 33% are Manifesting Generators. These Human Design Types are characterized by a Defined Sacral Center. They have consistent and sustained access to work force and life force energy. As such, they’re designed to get things done.
Give a Generator or Manifesting Generator a task, or an idea for a task, and they’ll take it, run with it, and get an even better result than was originally intended. Generator types love to work - when it’s their right work. I know several Generator entrepreneurs who work more than 40 hour weeks not because they need to pay the bills, but because they love the work they’re doing.
What about Generator types in their parenting?
Because they have a Defined Sacral Center they have the energy to get their day job done and still have energy to devote to all the activities modern parents deem necessary for their children’s happiness and success: homework, multiple after school sports and clubs, music lessons, school meetings and activities…
Generator types certainly can do all of these. They’ll definitely be tired at the end of every day as a result, but they can do them all. The question becomes: should they?
Do you need to do “all the things” in order to be a good parent?
That’s a question Generator types need to ask before committing their time to all the activities for their children. And there are other questions, too.
How much energy do your children have? Are they Defined Sacral beings like you, or do they have Open Sacral centers?
Children with Defined Sacral Centers need physical activity to move their energy and dispel it. They often benefit from team sports and organized activities. But….
They can also thrive from physical activity that’s less organized. Think: time at the park, playing outside with friends, riding their bicycle with you around the neighborhood or on a bike path nearby. Activities like these give you more flexibility, are less expensive, and are often more fun for everyone than organized activities. You can choose to participate in limited organized activities and not be overwhelmed. And you’ll still have plenty of energy for all the things you have less control over, like parent-teacher conferences, school carnivals, and extended family events.
At any rate, your children with Defined Sacral Centers will be better able to handle multiple activities, both flexible and more organized.
But if your children have an Open Sacral center - if your child is a Manifestor, Projector or Reflector - they’ll need recovery time between activities. They can’t sustain a high energy level for as long as you, or as consistently as you.
And what if one of your children has a Defined Sacral center, but another doesn’t? Is it ‘fair’ to have one in more activities than the other? Absolutely! It would be unfair to expect the same level of activity from both! Let’s look at how to understand your different children and manage the needs of both the Defined and Open Sacral Centers.
Remember - Not All Children are Generators
It’s important for Generator types to recognize their children’s energy levels and needs. Your children may or may not match your energy level. With your Defined Sacral, you’ll need to make allowances for the energy levels of your children with an Open Sacral center. Here’s an example.
Let’s say you have 2 children, one who is 10 years old and one who is 8. And let’s say the 8 year old is a Generator like you, but your 10 year old has an Open Sacral center (he’s a Projector). They both have bedrooms that resemble a natural disaster, so you send each to their room with specific instructions to clean up. Each of them is capable and has learned how to do each part of this clean up process:
pick up the dirty clothes from the floor and put them in the hamper
put the toys scattered on the floor back where they belong (shelves, containers, other rooms)
make their bed
sort paper into 2 piles, “trash” and '“give to Mom for review”
You check in on them every so often to see how they’re doing. Your 8 year old works steadily and just needs enthusiastic encouragement and a little physical help from you to continue to clean. But your 10 year old is fading fast. After 45 minutes he’s only halfway through picking up the toys on the floor (his brother is nearly finished with everything). His bed is still covered in dirty and clean clothes, and paper is still scattered everywhere. Not only that, but the next time you check you see that he’s lying on the bed gazing dispiritedly at the mess around him. When you ask him what’s up, he says, “I’m too tired to clean anymore.”
You might assume that your 10 year old is being ‘lazy.’ You might assume that a 10 year old ‘should’ be able to clean quicker and better than their 8 year old sibling. But cleaning a mess of a bedroom is a big project and big projects are more manageable for a child with a Defined Sacral center than for a child with an Open Sacral center. They can continue to work and work without a significant break until the job is done. This isn’t true for beings with Open Sacral Centers, as they need to work for a time, take a break for rest and restoration, and then work some more.
Working With Your Child’s Energy
Is it fair to expect only one of your children to be able to clean their room?
Not at all.
But your expectations need to match your children’s energy levels. It might be better to have your child with an Open Sacral Center clean their room more often, so that it never reaches the disaster level that necessitates a long, deep clean. And the project might still take longer than you think it should, or at least longer than it would take you to do it.
Another option might be to drop in and lightly help your child with an Open Sacral Center from time to time when they’ve been assigned a big project like this. One of the characteristics of an Open Sacral center is that it can borrow and amplify the energy of someone with a Defined Sacral Center for a short while. Just you being there will give them a boost in their energy level, supporting them in getting a chore done.
One challenge for Generator parents is that when you have such consistent, sustained energy it feels like everyone else should also have that same level of energy. I’ve known many moms with Open Sacral Centers who grew up feeling shame because they weren’t able to ‘keep up’ with their parents and siblings. They felt as though there was something lacking in them because they got tired out before their other family members.
If you’re a Generator type with a child who has an Open Sacral Center it’s important that you understand and appreciate the energy level of that child. You can do this by:
accepting and appreciating that their access to work force and life force energy is different than yours
helping them prioritize and choose the activities they wish to participate in so that they’re not overextending their energy
helping them break up big projects into manageable pieces, which will naturally conserve their energy
reviewing with them each week’s plans so that they can see where they might need rest and recovery time.
The more you accept their different energy need and teach them to work with it, the more likely they will be to accept and respect their own individual needs.
Helping Your Children Manage Their Energy
I know of one mom with a Defined Sacral center who has a teen with an Open Sacral center. This teen makes most Saturdays ‘pajama days.’ She stays home, reads, does her home chores at a leisurely pace, and generally takes it easy. All her friends know that she’s unavailable on Saturdays unless plans have been made way ahead of time.
My son has a friend (who I believe has an Open Sacral Center) who would often take a 2-3 hour nap on weekends. When he’d call to get together with this friend on the spur of the moment, his mom would decline politely. When my son would ask, “Well, how long will he be napping?” his mom would answer that she had no idea - his nap would last as long as he needed it. This was a mom who knew and accepted what her teen needed!
Another friend (who is a Projector) grew up on a farm and often was assigned huge chores to do on her own, the same as her siblings were. The problem for her was that her siblings were Generator types - they all completed their chores more quickly than she could. It seemed to her that it was easier for them than for her - because it was! She’s shared that she wishes she could have had company to do her chores. She would have been able to ‘borrow’ her siblings’ energy long enough to get her chores done more easefully. And she wouldn’t have felt like there was something wrong with her when her energy gave out when doing the chores alone.
Final Thoughts About Generator Types and Parenting
The ways you, as a Generator type parent, understand and help your children manage their energy needs will be as unique as you and your children are. I hope I’ve given you a few ways to think about this fundamental aspect of their being - and yours - so that you can take it into account in your everyday life.
Some questions to explore for you Generator and Manifesting Generator parents:
In your everyday - are you doing enough, not enough or too much of your right work?
Is everyone in your family happy to follow the schedule you have now, or is there friction with some members? Could that friction be related to differing energy levels?
What might need to be tweaked to make your lives easier and more fun?